I was sitting on the back patio one morning last week enjoying that first cup of coffee as the sun slowly began to begin coloring the top of the mountains. The air seemed to have a bit of fall in it and, after all, duck season is just around the corner. And as I heard the “honk” of another early flight of Canada geese arriving, my mind drifted to opening day.

I shouldn’t have been surprised when I was interrupted by a song drifting in from the radio in the kitchen. I instantly recognized it as a personal favorite from one of the groups I never tire listening to. And also should not have been startled by the Lord’s choosing this song to make a point; He does it with me all the time.

As I sat there watching the sun warm the mountain side, for the first time I really listened to the words and not just the melody and the harmony. And while the song was delivering a message to a lost world searching for answers, the Lord used the words to remind me of an important message; one for all of us.

I’ve been tryin to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think its about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore

Forgiveness is something that we in the body of Christ struggle with constantly. It’s one of the reasons why unbelievers say that “church” isn’t for them. In fact, it’s been said that the army of God is the only one that “shoots its wounded.”

If we’re ever going to alter that image we must take our example from Jesus and be ready to forgive even unto our own hurt. I could build a very large case to show how failure to forgive works to our detriment but this scripture sums it up well; emphasis is mine.

Matt 5:22-24 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ (empty, vane, shallow and worthless person) is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ (a rebel against God; apostate) will be in danger of the fire of hell. (charging another with apostasy and being unable to prove it exposes one to the same punishment) 23. “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

When our hearts are filled with iniquity our prayers never rise above the top of our heads. In light of Jesus’ words in these verses how can we expect Him to hear our prayers when we’re holding something against a brother or sister; especially challenging their relationship with God?  When we consider how Jesus has forgiven us, do we really need to go any farther? It’s a fact that failing to forgive shuts off our communion with God until it is dealt with and these verses provide us with an excellent example. Once again, let me quote from Barnes on the importance of forgiveness in our walk with Jesus:

1. In order to worship God acceptably, we must do justice to our fellow men.
2. Our worship will not be acceptable unless we do all we can to live peaceably with others.
3. It is our duty to seek reconciliation with others when we have injured them.
4. This should be done before we attempt to worship God.
5. This is often the reason why God does not accept our offerings, and we go empty away from our devotions. 

When we forgive others we clear out an obstruction in our heart that hinders our walk with the Lord. He has fully forgiven us and we need to fully forgive others. One of the best examples came from Jesus when He related the story of the “unjust steward (Luke 16). How can we be like that unjust servant when our king has forgiven us such a great debt; one that we could never repay! Especially when forgiveness carries with it some powerful benefits.

Forgiveness Builds Strength

Prov 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.  

I got this thought the other day when I was sharpening a knife. When a knife is struck against a properly wetted sharpening stone at the right angle the result is a fine edge on the knife without damage to the stone. Yes, the stone gives a little of itself in the process but it is given to the benefit of the knife. It is interesting to note that in this process the knife has to give a little of itself in order to attain that sharp edge. This process is effective when the stone and the knife act together in harmony. So it is between believers!

There are people in your life who’ve come and gone
They let you down you know they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you baby; life goes on
You keep carryin that anger; it’ll eat you up inside, baby 

When we challenge one another we engage in that “honing” process and it is designed so that each of us benefits. But our relationship must be in harmony as well or it will be dulled or damaged.

Forgiveness is a key ingredient in keeping our relationships healthy. When we are in a right relationship with one another there will always be a sharpening but the challenge will make us grow stronger in our inner man. We are to be mindful of the process and not run from it when it takes place. The answer, as in all things, is to lean on the Lord and not our own understanding. He knows when we need to be honed and who we need to do the honing. But if we let un-forgiveness interfere we may never attain the “edge” the Lord desires.

Too often we choose our friends like we do a book … by the “cover” and not by the “content.” God chooses by the content that we need to grow in Him. Unfortunately we often leave the process of forgiving out of the equation when we’ve been hurt by someone and we never learn the lesson. We wind up with a weaker and duller edge.

Forgiveness Builds Support

Eccl 4:9-10 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: 10. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

These verses are generally related to marriage but they equally apply to friendship. As we go back to the book of Genesis we find that in the very beginning God determined that it was not good for man to live alone (Gen 2:18). But look back just a little further and we see that God made man in His image (Gen 1:27). I think it’s fair to believe that God wanted man (made after His own character) as a friend. Look at those years in the Garden of Eden and what was God’s habit? He came to walk with Adam in the cool of the day (Gen 1:27). But look—even more importantly—at what He did after Adam sinned against Him. He was the one who came looking for His friend (Gen 3:9) and He forgave him and even made a covenant with him concerning the future (Gen 3:15) … a future based solely on forgiveness.

We see in both the Old and New Testaments that Abraham was called a friend of God (2Chr 20:7; Jas 2:23) and that those that are a friend of the world are not (2Sam 16:16; Jas 4:4). In both examples the issue of forgiveness is a key ingredient. Take for example the forgiveness that God had for Abraham on several occasions. On two occasions he lied by calling his wife his sister (Gen 12:12­13; Gen 20:2) and got in a real mess.  When it came to waiting for the promised heir he took things in his own hands (Gen 16) and we are still paying for that mistake today.

So where does this leave us?

As we go through these verses from Ecclesiastes, we must also keep in mind our relationship with Jesus. The pattern that was set in Genesis is valid today and will be so to the end of Revelation; friends forgive friends. As the Father first forgave Adam so Jesus forgave us on the cross (Luke 23:34). Look at verse 10 above. Jesus certainly lifted us up on the cross with Him and He continues to do so every time we fall today. That certainly contrasts with the world, yet even the world has some inkling about that:

These times are so uncertain
There’s a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age? 

How hopeless the world is without Jesus. And yet, look at how much hope God has given the world in His Son. And we are the messengers of that hope. The Talmud says it very clearly: A man without a companion is like a left hand without a right.

I know I have those special friends in my life who just make me feel all warm inside when I think of them or are around them. I enjoy that because, as Matthew Henry says, Christians warm one another by provoking one another to love and to good works. I also know that my friendship with them is strong enough that there is mutual forgiveness in those times of failure, misunderstanding and hurt (verse 10).

Forgiveness Comes In Assembly

And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside loves open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

The Lord has given us multiple reasons in His Word to assemble ourselves together, and we have generated multiple reasons in our minds for not assembling together. They range from laziness to rebellion, but in the middle somewhere is failing to forgive. In my opinion this is one of the most common reasons believers use for not coming to church, or worse yet, moving from church to church.

Heb 10:24-25 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another — and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

When we walk around mad at someone—whether we admit it or not—it usually is affecting us more than the one that is the focus of our anger. More often than not they aren’t even thinking about whatever it is that we’re mad about. But that “whatever” is the tool the enemy uses over and over to separate us from our fellow believers. Let’s take a look at these verses and see just what failing to forgive deprives us of.

Setting aside for a moment the tremendous benefits of corporate worship, prayer and the preaching of the Word, one of the greatest benefits of coming together is found in the word consider. In the Greek it’s katanooomen, and it means to “diligently and attentively consider” each others difficulties, trials and weaknesses. To accomplish that we are to provoke (paroxusmos) or to incite to do good. Paroxusmos comes from a root word that means to sharpen alongside. Here the intent is to come alongside and incite or encourage love and the doing of good works. This can’t be done if we are home alone and separated from our fellow believers in the faith because we’re mad at someone and withhold our forgiveness. When we fail to gather together in fellowship we enter one of the first stages of backsliding which, if unchecked, can become the apostasy evidenced by the church at Laodicia in its lukewarmness.  St. Ignatius wrote of this:

When ye frequently and in numbers meet together, the powers of Satan are overthrown, and his mischief is neutralized by your likemindedness in the faith. To neglect such assemblings might end in apostasy.

We can then, as is often done in the Hebrew language, restate the positive in the negative … when we fail to assemble the powers of Satan are not overthrown. When we assemble together we gain stability and perseverance by mutually strengthening one another. We can’t afford to let the enemy use un-forgiveness as a tool to keep us from staying in fellowship with one another. It is just as important today as it was in the days of the early church.

In that time the early church was facing the coming destruction of Jerusalem (Matt 24), which would be a foretaste of His Second Coming. Today we are closer than ever to that monumental day in history when everything will be forever changed. For us, the next event on God’s calendar is the rapture of the church, just before the great tribulation period. Verse 25 has just as much meaning for us as it did when the letter was first written.

Those of us who wish to be found ready will heed the admonition found in these verses. We are the generation that is sitting on the brink of His Second Coming. We cannot afford to allow un-forgiveness or anything else to deter us from our appointed tasks. To accomplish them we are going to need all of the loving support and encouragement the body of Christ can give. Do we really want to face Jesus with any un-forgiveness in our heart?

I’ve been tryin to get down
To the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I’m thinking about forgiveness 

The enemy has one focus in this world and, not to bust anyone’s bubble, it isn’t us. His fight is with the Word of God (Jesus). He can’t take your salvation away and he knows it. On the other hand, he is an expert at using un-forgiveness to separate and weaken the body of Christ and “dull” our ability to share the gospel. Remember, for him it’s all about stopping the Word of truth and putting himself in it’s place. It’s so easy for our flesh to fall into that trap – let’s don’t help him out!

In its own way this song touches on a very big issue for Christians today. Of all the people living on this planet we believers should be demonstrating the teachings of our Lord on this issue. It’s so easy to justify the flesh when it comes to forgiving—after all, just look what he did to me. Perhaps it’s about time that we looked ourselves in the mirror and got down To The Heart Of The Matter.

Next time we’ll take a look at how we can do that.